Welcome to day 27 in the hellfire that is the Donald Trump Administration!! We know, it feels like *much* longer than that. SIKE THIS IS ALL FAKE NEWS CUZ EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT GUYS NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

For real though, Trump held a press conference this afternoon, and it was WILD (even for Trump). Here are some of the straight up bananas things that happened:

Trump claimed that he inherited an economic “mess” 


Trump repeated the false claims that his Electoral College win was one of the biggest victories in our history.

Trump said that he’s running a tight ship (lolz) and NOTHING BAD IS HAPPENING OK?!


Trump rambled on about how drugs are cheaper than candy bars??

Midway through the presser, Twitter was reeling.


Trump then said this about the NYT bombshell story on Russia, “The leaks are absolutely real. The news is fake.” WHAT??

He then brought up the more than dozen women who accused him of sexual harassment and/or assault, asserting that they have retracted their claims and now say “We love Trump.”

About possibly meeting with the Congressional Black Caucus, Trump told reporter April Ryan, “I would. You want to set up the meeting? Are they friends of yours?”

Trump then went on and on about how he brings best TV ratings. OK GOOD CUZ THAT’S WHAT WE REALLY NEED IN A PRESIDENT.

By the end of this absolute brain fuck, everyone was like: UMM HI REPUBLICANS WHERE TF ARE YOU.


Honestly, we probably missed at least 16 things, but we don’t have the mental energy to go through it all. If you need us, we’ll be drinking all the wine until we blackout and/or find a portal to an alternate universe. Byeeeeee.